Two sides of a coin..


I walked into the club with my friends laughing loudly, mocking random people for we knew for  a fact they would be mocking us too!

Amidst all the laughter and chaos I subtly scanned the room to see if he was there. I did not dare to ask my friends if he was coming. Not all of them knew our past. Long story short, we met, fell in love, shit happened and we parted!Not long after that when he wanted me, I did too. But stayed away for obvious reasons.Then when I wanted him, he did not want me. DID NOT WANT ME. Few months after all of it, he was still there on my mind. As stable as ever. Come on, having to get over him while having to see him everyday is not child’s play!

They all walked over to the middle of the dance floor while I just grabbed a coke and found myself a comfortable bean bag!

They were having the time of their lives and me, mine, taking a video of them all! ‘ Get up and come here right now’ Rhea screamed from the crowd. To play it safe, I showed her my coke glass . ‘ Right after this!’I grinned.

I got up and decided to have a look around the place, had been sitting for too long!

I was walking around sipping through my coke. One part of me was hoping he would be there, the other, otherwise. 

‘ Do you still love him?’ I remembered his friend asking me. I had shaken my head defensively. I knew he was not coming back ever, why agree and make a fool of myself! I had walked away that day. Not wanting to answer any further. Gone were the days when he was there for me.

Tears ran down my cheeks and I did not wipe them. This was the place for me to get it all out. Nobody would look. Nobody would care. They were all high, and in their own world! ‘Roo’ I heard Rhea calling out. I walked away faster, little did I want her to see me like this.

I saw a not so crowded place not very far away. I headed right there with my glass still half full and stopped dead in my tracks. He was there. A girl pushed him to the wall and they were kissing. I saw him see me. I couldn’t cry. Tears froze. I did not know what was happening. In less than a millisecond I was losing control. My hand was out of control. I was spilling the coke on myself. I was losing it all. Not too late I realised it was a seizure. I tried my best to stay in a place, but no.. I was falling down. Was foaming..


‘No don’t make that sad face ‘ she had said and pounced on me on the middle of the road, pulling me into a tight hug. ‘I love you. I do. Don’t make that face again’ she had said. 

The memories of that day were crystal clear! She had hugged me and kissed me on the middle of the road like we owned the world.

I even remembered her saying ‘Just let me go. I don’t want this. We are over’ not too late. I was devastated. We were beautiful together and in no time it was gone.It was all gone. She was gone. We were  over, now.

Ofcourse she had come back almost immediately . She wanted us back but I was forced to say no because I knew for a fact history would repeat, and I wouldn’t be able to take it again!

I wanted to forget her. I wanted to forget us. Getting drunk helped, my friends had told me and I found myself walking towards the club our friends had invited me to. I had instantly declined because she was going to be there. Yet, I walked over to that place. With every step, the craving to see her grew.

Soon, I was pushing through the crowd, looking around for her.She was nowhere. 

‘A 105 is the number that comes to my head, when I think of all the years I wanna be with you’ the speakers blared. Why, she loved this song. I had once sung it for her!

Reality hit me hard on the face, suddenly. What was I doing without her. I could not take it all. It was too much pressure. I collapsed onto my knees amidst the mad crowd , hands covering my face. ‘So sorry’ I heard a girl yell from the crowd. She had stamped my feet apparently, which I realised only after she claimed to have done that.

‘Let me buy you a drink!’ She smiled. I got up not thinking twice. I needed all the liquor in the world to get her out of my head and I did not have cash on me right then. I made a mental note to repay this girl sometime later!

In no time 4, 5 and 6 glasses had gone inside. I had no idea what I was drinking. All I wanted was, to forget her. 

‘Let’s dance ‘ the girl said. I reluctantly let her lead me, as I scanned again helplessly, for Roo. The liquor was getting to me. 

All of a sudden, she dragged me away from the crowd, pushed me against the wall and leaned real close to my face . Before I could say anything, I saw Roo standing in front of me. I pushed away the girl and by then Roo was down, foaming. A seizure. Something she was very scared of.

My heart stopped beating for a minute and a lump formed in my throat.

I was sober as ever already. I saw her friends take her away to the hospital, as I stood there baffled…

And thus, inspite of fiercely loving each other, the lost souls remained lost with pre-conceived notions…. neither of them wanting to know what was on the other person’s mind. Neither wanting to see the other side of the coin.


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